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The 23 Best Lines In
Marketing
By Jeff Dobkin
Like old friends, these lines are of
great value to have at your side. This reoccurring
arsenal of words is a center point in almost all of my
campaigns.
In Direct Mail:
"Gift Certificate Enclosed"
How many times have I said this? Whew. My very
favorite line for getting my clients' direct mail
packages opened. Reasons?
* Gift certificates are inexpensive to print, at
1/3rd or 1/4 of a sheet of paper - or less.
* May be printed on the same sheet as the letter,
catalog or the order form - for extra savings in
printing costs. * Ship flat, and adds very little
weight to your mailing package.
* They're much more upscale than coupons. *
Gift certificates have a high perceived value. *
Cheap to redeem - in fact, have no cost at all until
redemption.
* May be targeted to specific merchandise or offers
- good for overstock or high margin items.
* Naturally easy to track.
Any arguments?
"Free Offer Inside..."
This works almost as well. When a gift certificate
just won't suffice in a business-to-business mailing,
this is usually my next choice. And more often than not,
the other writing on the envelope is:
"OPEN IMMEDIATELY!"
There's a saying around here in Direct Mailville
that states you must tell the recipient exactly what you
want him to do for the best chance of having him do
exactly what you want.
"Just Call and Get..."
How many times have I said this phrase? Hummm,
nope, can't count that high. I mix it in with one of my
other key phrases:
"Call Us TOLL FREE..."
In a copywriting assignment for an envelope
printer, I asked readers to call 16 times in a 2 page
letter. 16 times in one letter! So don't feel bad about
asking customers to call three or four times on the same
page. If you'd like to see how I weaved this into the
letter copy without being too obnoxious, just drop me a
note and I'll send you the letter. Yes, the letter
definitely made his phone ring. You bet.
"Dear Colleague"
It's one of my favorite salutations. So much better
than 'Dear reader,' which is always my last choice. And
who's to say your reader isn't a colleague in some
fashion.
"...and Friend."
I like to offer this phrase after the salutation,
to make it friendlier and more personal. And it does.
"Dear fellow Pharmacist and Friend". "Dear Pet Lover and
Friend". "Dear Chevy Owner and Friend". About 50% of my
letters have these two words after the opening
salutation. In any type of local mailing, my favorite
opening is "Dear Neighbor and Friend". Sounds kinda'
nice, n'est-ce pas? Readers usually think so, too.
"Thank You."
You know, you can never say 'thank you' enough to
your customers. Never. Almost every letter I send has
the word thanks in it at one point. Another way I
express this is:
"Thank you for your business, and your trust."
If you don't thank them, how are your customers to
know you care, or appreciate their business? Chances are
they won't. That means if they have the opportunity to
go elsewhere, they will. I ran monthly advertising with
a magazine for 6 years, they never thanked me once in a
letter. When the ad became marginal, I dropped out, and
never felt one bit of remorse, despite their pleas.
Contrast this to the form we shipped our product with:
our shipping form measured 41/2" x 71/2", and I thanked
our customer 6 times on this form. You can call me on
this one too, just drop a note and ask for our old
Merion Station Mail Order shipping form. Thanks.
"Thank you for your kind referral."
One of the best ways to get business is through
referrals. One of the best ways to get more referrals is
to send a thank you letter to the person who made a
referral. No, a phone call is not the same. When you
hang up after a phone conversation you cease to exist. A
letter, well, that can hang around for a while - to be
appreciated over time. I once wrote a nice 'thank you'
letter to a retailer who installed my car radio. They
framed it and hung it on their wall - for about a year.
Face it, when someone calls to say thanks, you say
"That's nice, they called." End of story. But when you
receive a letter of thanks... well, that's big time.
Someone actually took the time to sit down and write a
letter of thanks. Wow, monumental effort. They know you
appreciate it. To our firm, a referral means someone
gave our name with the silent pledge of their trust. It
is an honor we don't take lightly.
"Thank you for the opportunity and the privilege
to be of service."
Business rule number one: it is a privilege to
serve your customer. Let them know this is how you feel,
and customers will remain loyal to you for years. Not
only do I say this frequently, I believe it. So does
every person in our firm - it is part of our company
creed.
"New Product Offers Benefit!"
This formula is unusual in that it works almost
everywhere. In direct mail, it's a safe bet for envelope
teaser copy, especially when coupled with the three
great lines at the top of this article. "New product
offers benefit" also is one of the best, time tested
formula for the headline of ad, or a press release
headline.
It's also my very favorite formula for the "Jeff
Dobkin Benefits-First Press Release." I've found if you
use this formula for the first line of your press
release the benefits never, ever get cut out. Editors
cut from the bottom, and sometimes from the middle, but
the first sentence is always left intact. Since benefits
sell the product and increase the response, it's a
hard-hitting direct marketing technique to squeeze them
in anywhere you can. They'll look just great up at the
top of your press release.
"Free Booklet offers how-to information."
This headline attracts readers with a free offer,
but also limits the attraction to the specific market
segment you are targeting to better qualify respondents.
This saves you time, and money by not having to send
literature to a non-buying, poor-prospect market. On the
up-side: "Free booklet shows you how to pack glassware
for moving!" produces good response, but only from
people who are going to move. Very targeted marketing.
This type of headline produces tons of high quality,
highly qualified leads.
"Objective:"
Before writing any copy, including sales letters,
brochures, direct mail packages, catalogs, everything -
first write "Objective:" in the upper right hand part of
a clean sheet of paper. Then write the objective. I do
this at the start of every writing assignment. This
reminds me why I am writing, and what the writing must
accomplish. Unless I'm drafting a catalog or hard
hitting package that sells products directly, my
objective is usually to make the phone ring; so my copy
is written to sell the phone call. Objective: to make
the customer pick up the phone and call.
Writing the objective first, clarifies my writing.
The objective is usually a surprise to most of my
business-to-business clients who think I am trying to
sell their products. Heck, it's tough to sell from a
sheet of paper. I generally leave the selling to them. I
just make the phone ring - with warmed-up prospects.
In PR: "Are you the person I should send this
press release to?"
I don't think I've ever met an editor who isn't
incredibly sick and tired of press agents or product
developers who call up and say, "Did you get my press
release?" Sure they got your press release. They receive
all the press releases - which one was yours? This is
usually followed by a flurry of activity: the editor
having to fumble through the stacks of papers,
half-written stories, half-finished coffee, and
occasionally toward the deadline of the month -
half-eaten pizzas - sitting on their desk to find your
release. I guarantee by the time they found it, your
press release has one foot in the grave - er...
wastebasket. Still in all, more likely than not, you're
going to have to send another press release to make sure
they have it on-hand and at the ready.
Yet it's much more likely your press release will
be published if you speak with an editor. So here's the
plan: Call the editor BEFORE sending him or her a press
release, and ask, "Are you the person I should send this
press release to?" You see, this sets up a 'can you help
me' relationship with the editor, and editors by their
nature - like school teachers - are a very helpful lot.
If they say yes, give them a short, one minute pitch
(they're also a very busy lot) and then send your
release to them. This will increase your chance of being
published from 5% to 50%, maybe 70%, maybe 80%.
If the editor isn't the right one, and says "Oh no,
you've got to send that to Jeff Rogers, our chief editor
down the hall." You then pick up the phone and knowing
full well Rogers is the one, you call and say to him.
"Are you the person I should send this release to..."
You see, this sets up a 'can you help me'
relationship...
"Nice speaking with you."
Even if it wasn't, "Nice speaking with you, thank
you for receiving my call." should be the first line of
the letter you include with the press release that you
send to an editor after you've spoken with him or her.
(Yes, I believe all press releases should be sent with a
letter). Since most press releases are sent without
phone calls, this subtly reminds the editor of your
conversation, and that the publishing of this particular
release has great importance to you. Also remember not
to say in your letter, "Enclosed is our release..." they
can see that. Instead, your letter focus should be on
"Thank you so much for your consideration to publish our
release. Your readers will get this wonderful
informational booklet, shipped promptly, filled with
terrific ideas and tips on...". Letters with press
releases build your credibility.
Still More Great Marketing Lines
"See Page..."
In catalogs I always like to refer customers to
other pages. Whether it's accessories, similar items, or
just stuff that goes well with other stuff, the best
thing a customer can do is thumb through the pages. The
longer the customer stays in your book, the better the
chance he'll order something, or order something else.
"See Order Form on Page..."
If the objective is to have customers order, it
never hurts to remind them. Pointing to the order for is
a subtle reminder. A nice phrase is "It's easy to order
- see Order Form on page..."
"What's New Inside..."
In newsletters, catalogs, long copy packages, and
other longer publications I like to entice readers with
a bulleted list of fascinating places to go to inside.
If we can just spike a couple of high interest notes and
get the reader inside, we've accomplished the cover
objective and have a good start toward our goals of
additional time in our package and increasing sales and
brand loyalty.
"And how did you hear of our company?"
Built into every advertising and marketing program
should be a tracking system. When your marketing is
purely through the mail it may be easy to track through
a priority code number, response sent to a particular
department, or simply a color coded envelope. But some
marketing programs, and most retail operations need to
figure out which ad their customer saw or which offer
they are responding to. I always recommend this simple
method: leave a small pad of paper or stack of 3" x 5"
index cards next to each phone, and when it rings -
early in the conversation - ask
"And how did you hear of our company?"
Take all the filled-out slips of paper and put them
in a selected drawer. At the end of the month you'll
have a good idea which ad or program is working. At the
end of 6 months you'll know for sure which ads were
profitable and which mailing worked the best.
"It's a little over, is that OK?"
OK, so it isn't used in direct mail. But I don't
know of a deli counter man this side of New York who
hasn't used this up-selling line at least a thousand
times a week. Pretty effective marketing, eh?
"Satisfaction Always Guaranteed"
Heck, you're going to get stuck with it anyhow if
it comes back, might as well be a nice guy and say this
right up front. It'll increase your sales.
"Kindest regards,"
I sign off of every letter this way. Kinda' nice,
don't you think?
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